The National Park Service turns 100 years old on August 25, 2016, and it is marking the milestone with an ad campaign aimed at raising awareness of just how diverse and magnificent America’s national parks are. More than forests, waterfalls and geysers, the National Park system actually encompasses 411 sites, including national monuments and designated historic landmarks such as the infamous federal prison on Alcatraz island in San Francisco, the Statue of Liberty in New York, the Iolani Palace in Hawaii, the World War II Japanese American concentration camp in Manzanar, California, and the gold mining town of Cripple Creek, Colorado. No matter where you live in the U.S., there is a National Park site nearby.

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This is terrible news. Dos Equis is sending the “most interesting man in the world” on a one-way trip to Mars. On March 6, 2016, Dos Equis’s Amsterdam-based owner Heineken announced it was retiring the character played by actor Jonathan Goldsmith in favor of someone more appealing to millennials. This is in spite of the fact that Dos Equis beer sales have nearly tripled since the campaign was introduced in 2009. As portrayed by Goldsmith, the Dos Equis man is a blend of Ernest Hemingway, James Bond and Errol Flynn. He is dashing, nonchalantly fearless, at home in any situation and in any part of the world, charismatic, and open to adventures. The Dos Equis man ads, first created by EuroRSCG New York, elevated the lager from a regional brew, mostly known in Texas and California, to one of the world’s best-known brands. And it gave us one of the most memorable taglines: “I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis. Stay thirsty, my friend.”

Warning to Dos Equis: The next “most interesting man in the world” better not be some hip hop dude with tattoos up the ying yang, earrings, and ever-present cell phone, or a Justin Bieber type. If he is, some older fans will be throwing beer cans at their TV. Some of us are still thirsty for the current “most interesting man in the world.”